


The Red Shogun

by orphan_account



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Consensual Violence, I am mean to kai for no reason, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Post Season 3, Pre Season 4, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-22 20:51:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23100238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kai doesn't have any healthy coping mechanisms
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	The Red Shogun

Fight fire with fire. Hurt with hurt.

He doesn't know why he goes back to the ring, but he does. Again and again.

Maybe he thinks if he gets hit enough times he'll forget. Deep down, he knows full well that's not how it works. He still comes back.

Sometimes he lets himself get hit, until his head feels like it's full of cotton, and words come slower than they should. Until he feels his bones creaking, muscles tearing.

But it doesn't hurt.  **_Not as much as-_ ** _ no don't think about it don't don't don't think about it it hurts too much just forget about him- _

And after every fight, he drags himself to the bar, gets a drink to numb it all.

He feels dirty.

**_What would Zane think-_ ** _ no no no he's gone stop thinking about it just stop thinking keep fighting don't think about it- _

He feels wrong.

He can't face his sister. Not like this. Bruises all over, scars from fighting the wrong battles.

She would be ashamed of him.

**_She should be._ **

And every night he walks back to his trashy little apartment, meager prize money in hand, and passes out on the bare mattress on the floor.

Same thing, over and over.

Fight, drink, sleep.

Again and again.

  
  


**_And_ **

**_Still_ **

**_It_ **

**_Hurts_ **

A dull ache, pulsing in his ribcage like a second heartbeat.

Pounding in his head like a hammer to his skull.

  
  


**_Can't take it anymore. Can't. No more._ **

  
  
  


**_It has to end._ **

  
  


He's staring at the pill bottle.

He's pouring out the contents into his hand.

He's bringing the handful of poison up to his lips.

  
  


**_What about Lloyd?_ **

  
  


He stops.

The pills go back in the bottle. The bottle goes back on the shelf.

**_No. Not this time._ **

He gets dressed.

  
  


Back to the ring.


End file.
